For the past year I have been struggling with regrets, decisions and being considered to be in early middle age. Of course many of us have struggles in life and not all of us air them out, but hey this is my next outlet. There was a naive time i my life where everything was mentally planned out and it was going to work out perfectly. Oh was, I in for a reality check.
College did not workout as planned, instead I took time off to enjoy my last few years of my teens and twenties. The nineties were definitely lived, but that can be another post. Now my first college degree was completed 9 years behind scheduled followed by a second in degree in nursing. Sometimes, I regret taking so long to complete my degrees, but in doing so, I was able to commit the energy, effort and time to complete each degrees in 2.6 years with a 4 year gap in between.
This morning all seemed to go as clear and graceful as the day that was brought upon us. Girls cooperated with their morning routines and were even ready 15 mins early. “YES!!!! I will be making it to work early today”.
Enter drop off moment. We walk in, say our good mornings, wash hands, put all articles away in the cubbies. They sit down and I serve them breakfast. Glance at my watch and wow I’m truly on point this morning. Hugs and kisses to one and hugs and kisses to the next, but wait!!!!! She won’t let go of my sweater. OK mommy loves you both and daddy will pick you guys up today.
And the water works begin. Lower myself to her level and reassure her mommy loves and you’re going to have a wonderful day today. No NO No NO! Please stay, or can I please go to work with you. Now this went on for 25 minutes and there was no reasoning with her as there is no reasoning with any 4-year-old. Negotiations, options, hugs, kisses and speaking; were all failed attempts on my behalf, but her guilt trip on me was definitely winning. “Mommy you’re breaking my heart, because you’re not understanding me”. How do I compete with that? How do I bounce back and try to even win this one? Continue reading
Your blank canvas, to dress and adorn as your soul sees fit.
Small, large, black, grey, colors, and patterns- all tell a story of your desires, passions, loss, or present moments. Strategically placed, thought out, and designed for your blank canvas.
That moment of vulnerability when the artist peeks, ponders, and judges your blank space. Making your thought and his art a permanent feature on you.
The machine turns on, the needle is dipped into the black ink, your body’s adrenaline starts to kick in, blood quickly flowing, pain, anxiousness, are all rolled into one.