For the past year I have been struggling with regrets, decisions and being considered to be in early middle age. Of course many of us have struggles in life and not all of us air them out, but hey this is my next outlet. There was a naive time i my life where everything was mentally planned out and it was going to work out perfectly. Oh was, I in for a reality check.
College did not workout as planned, instead I took time off to enjoy my last few years of my teens and twenties. The nineties were definitely lived, but that can be another post. Now my first college degree was completed 9 years behind scheduled followed by a second in degree in nursing. Sometimes, I regret taking so long to complete my degrees, but in doing so, I was able to commit the energy, effort and time to complete each degrees in 2.6 years with a 4 year gap in between.
It was a regular Monday afternoon, the twins and I arrived on our street from daycare. I carried Sophia while Lily decided to walk and jump over every line on the ground. All of a sudden Sophia wanted to mimic her sister, so I let both of them walk. I would rather carry them since I can control the walk and get to my building faster, but then I decided to stop being a paranoid father.
I have a record for being overly nervous with kids. After a minute or so my nerves got the best of me as Lily was running faster and pulling away from Sophia and me. My instincts took over and I picked up Sophia in a fluid motion without breaking stride and caught up to Lily. I asked her to give me her hand, she immediately declined my offer. I grabbed her hand anyways just because I had a feeling something might go wrong.
We approached a driveway to the building right before ours and a driver in a car noticed us and gave me the nod that it was OK to pass. As soon as we passed, Lily yells: “my baby”, she dropped her doll right in the middle of the driveway. All three of us witnessed Lily’s baby get crushed. I saw a devastated, shocking look in her face; then Lily yells: “bad car bad car” at least three times.
As soon as we enter our home both girls started yelling outside the window: “bad cars Lily’s baby”. I was happy because this tough time my twin daughters found a common bond and learned about team work.
Guest post by Mr. Hubby
Being what was once considered a typical Scorpio; pre-twins days was a title I carried with pride. Now being called mami is one I wear with honor. Yet how do I go back and find some of that Scorpio sting that’s inside me, yet is not sure how to balance the once title and the new?
I am using this blog as a way to try to mesh the old with the new in order to keep what was once a fun, spontaneous person/fiancee to just being a mami!
My goals are to free write what is on my mind for 30 min. This will hopefully start giving me insight to what is inside my mind and what is presently going on at once.
If anyone wants to comment please feel free. I would love to hear from other moms/dads that may or may not be facing similar adjustments.
On a side note a milestone was reached in our home this morning. Day 5 of twins going pee pee in the potty. What a great accomplishment on their behalf and light starting to peek through the tunnel; symbolizing purchasing diapers will soon come to an end.